The Boy With Three Mothers

When I was about twelve years old, my mother came to my older sister, my younger brother and me and said she wanted to have another baby.  She could only do this, she said, if we were willing to help.  We told her to go for it.
Two years later, J was born.  By that time, V was 16, I was 14 and C was 11.  Explaining that J was not an oops has taken up far too much of my time over the years.  My own fault as I just think it was so neat that he was a "family" project!
Anyway,  J was a neat kid.  Whenever we older siblings went somewhere without him, we brought him a gift.  We took him with us many a time and he was well behaved.  The biggest problem in his life seemed to be that he had three mothers and two fathers.  Poor Mom would get so frustrated that we wouldn’t leave his upbringing to her and Dad.  Well, it was hard!  After all, we were older, right?
I could tell many stories about J, both good and bad.  (The bad would freak Mom out so I will keep mum on the subject.)  He took a while to figure out what to do with his life but, when he did, he did, and does, excel at it.  He got himself educated beyond what he needed and, it turns out, he tests at genius level. 
Of course, we will never know if he would have advanced so far had he not had three mothers.  At his wedding, I went up to Mom and asked, "How is the mother of the groom doing?"  I then asked V, "How  is the other mother of the groom doing?"  V then asked me, "How is the other mother of the groom doing?" 
You see, it doesn’t take a village to raise a child.  It takes mothers!  I take the role of mothering very seriously.  If a child in my neighborhood is riding a bicycle without a helmet on, I say something to him/her.  This is what being a mother is all about!  The mother switch doesn’t turn on and off.  It keeps on working until the day we die!  (My mother said that I started mothering her when I was fifteen.  Mind you,  I didn’t like children until I had my own!)
Recently, I thought my ds had called me from downstairs on his cell phone.  I answered accordingly with, "What?"  The voice on the other end of the line said, "Huh?"  I asked what he wanted.  He said, "This is your brother!"  "Oh, I thought you were my son."  His response?  "Well, you weren’t too far off!"  And he giggled.  He is 35 years old!!!  I love you, J!

21 responses to “The Boy With Three Mothers

    I’m fairly certain that I’m the "oops" in our family.
    One of my greatest sadnesses was that I couldn’t have a baby with Husband. My four sons were all for the idea, and still occasionally talk about how cool it would be to have a baby in the house. (And they’re almost-19, 17, 14 and 12). I believe their motives are probably less about "parenting" and "nurturing" and more about "torturing" and "teaching naughty words and actions."
    Was your mom the least bit embarrassed about asking you others about it? I would think that would stop most moms in their tracks. Good for her!!
    Do you still boss J around?

  2. lovely post gail …missed visiting you for past few days so will read last few posts …don’t want to miss anything do I …lol
    dreaded test day tomorrow !
    love and blessings

  3. Ciao G,
    Thanks for the lovely visit to my space and also for the kind comment.
    What a wonderful post that you have here. I have really enjoyed it…being the oldest of 5, I know how you feel, I also was motherly to all my brothers and my sister.
    Hope that you have a wonderful day.
    God Bless You

  4.  What a wonderful story.I always felt that way with my ex-husbands wife.As long as she was good and nuturing as aMother to my kids why not love her for it.I mean kids need all the love they can get.Thank god i have two well balanced children that lead normal lives and knows what it takes to be FAMILY.You have a wonderful family  and may God Bless all of you!

  5. What a wonderful story and one I needed to read about.  My son was not an oops either but wasnt exactly planned out.  And tho my oldest daughter threw a fit about me getting pregnant she now Mothers Zac like he is her very own and soI always say Zac has 3 Mommas.  When he falls and gets hurt we all smother him with attention and he loves it. I can leave him with the girls now and its as if Im not even missed because he already has two of his Mommas here with him.   We are so blessed to have him in our family.
    Well, I am glad you liked my new pics. Glad to see you visit me 🙂  Take care and Ill be back soon!

  6. G,
    I know we talked about this before, that my older brothers and sister were the same age as you & your siblings when I was born.  However, others who have commented may have been an “oops” but let me assure you, I was a “WELCOME SURPRISE” (hee hee hee)
    I don’t think I could say that Roey is very motherly to Cuyler, although sometimes I catch her saying things to him “Yeah, keep it up and you won’t get anything!” and I have to remind her that I am the mother.
    Speaking of mothers, I stopped by your mom’s space today (finally) — her blog sounds like you (although she isn’t distracted while she is writing by a baby).
    By the way, did the Girl like those Chinese slippers you bought for Bells?  I thought they were so cute – and the matching pig hat would have been cute, too.  You could have decked her all out and taken her for a walk – and if anyone said how cute she was, you could have told them, “Yes, Himself and I adopted her from China” and then watched their faces as they were trying to figure THAT one out!
    Take care, love ya!  Lols =)

  7. Well let me see, umm…I wanted to be a cop but idk i think i need to think about it.I have four brothers and two sisters.My mom and dad is still married for 25 years almost.Tell me see love love music.I would love to meet t-boz from tlc and chilli too.To bad about left-eye, she died in 02. But i like all kinds of music not just christian. I like anykind.Rock and rap mostly. Mostly rap and r-n-b though.My favorite flavor of ice cream would have to be vanilla.LOLThere’s just so much about me.

  8. That’s funny!  I’m sure it wasn’t funny for your mom in the thick of it.
    You’re so right about the mother switch not turning off and on!  I find myself mothering kids as if they were my own all the time!  I’ll go in Walmart and tell them not to climb on the shelves.  I go to the laundromat and tell them to get out of the dryers – while their mothers continue to remain oblivious.  I’ve even motherered mothers!  When I see a kid doing something dangerous, I’ll ask in the sweetest voice I can muster, "I found your child doing this.  I just want him to be safe.  Will you please help him stop doing this?"  What’s surprised me is the number of times they haven’t gotten offended – and even more how they keep their children close to them from that point on!
    You made a comment on the Nepal thing that you wished that the USA would repent and want such healing.  With all of my heart, Gail, I believe it will happen.  God got through to our thick heads enough to get us to repent and be saved, didn’t He?  I’m not saying that you’re thick-headed, but when we were in sin we all were.  There’s hardly a sinner out there that isn’t thick-headed – otherwise there wouldn’t be any sinners!

  9. It’s sweet that your mom asked you guys about having another baby because it would impact the entire family.  I am the last of 5 and I am told that I was an ooops:)  It’s great being the last, though.

  10. Thanks for your coming again!i really enjoy the  every day of my lives!congratunations for your mother’s spaces building,i have also visited the spaces althoug i didn’t leave a comment!it’s  also the style of which i like!keeping visiting both of your and your mother’s spaces!

  11. That is so sweet.  My mom was 15 when my youngest uncle was born and he used to joke that he thought she was his mom for the longest time because my grandma worked all the time so mom took care of him.  Unlike your brother though, my uncle was most definately NOT planned. lol 
    Have a great weekend!!!

  12. always nice to hear from you 🙂
    I had a look on your mum’s space and will ‘visit’  her again  …she is doing well !
    hope your weekend is filled with peace and joy

  13. J was a blessing to all of us.  He kept his teenage siblilngs steady because they had to protect him.  That was a bonus for me.  He knew that he was loved and that is why he has succeded in his adult years.That poor man because til this day he still has 5 parents to answer to.  Love you g

  14. Maybe this explains things.  The serf didn’t have enough mothers.  He did have one, but she was kept busy by the serf and his brother, who was 18 months younger.  It appears the first time she had a break was when the serf was 8.  That was when my sister joined the pack followed by my youngest brother 2 years later. 
    Come to think of it, having the serf as an older brother instead of a second "mother" could explain a number of things about the serf’s siblings.  Ouch!

  15. Hello Gail,
    Great story! I don’t have very many good stories about my growing up. Still don’t have many good ones about my brothers and sisters. Some people just don’t seem to get what it is all about to be grown up. Glad your family is so close and can laugh and joke around.
    Glad you enjoyed this one. My Mom would take a belt to my backside if she knew I did this:)  I reckon that is why I did.
    Lols did a great job helping out the "Christian Cafe" with their problem. It has been terminated from their site. Email her to find out.
    Peace & Blessings.

  16. There is a very fine line between being a mother, bossing people around and mothering.
    My mom had 7 children, only 3 of us lived. I have an older sister (by 3 years) and she was the meanest, bossy-est, slapping-est sister – ever! We get along, but she still thinks she’s the boss.
    Since my younger sister (by 16 years) had the same mother as I did, I did as much of the ‘mothering’ as possible. With the exception of my friends, most people thought she was mine.
    Mom never missed a chance to tell her she was an ‘oops’ (only she used the word ‘mistake’) and that she had seriously considered abortion an option.
    In 1990, I rescued lil’ sis from a bad marriage and brought her home to live with us. She is still living here in our little town, happily married with a great 14 year old son. She’s the "Tough Little Jailer".
    Mothering just never ends…ain’t it great?
    Oh, I nearly forgot…No Small Parts – that title came from the phrase: There are no small parts, only small actors.
    Nora Desmond (I’ve not seen that movie) may have said that, as well as Ginger Rogers and maybe the 100 or so other people that it’s been attributed to also said it. I just don’t know who said it first. I thought it was Shakespear.
    What I meant to convey is that truely, in life – there are no small parts. God knew us before we were born and He loved us even then. We are important to Him, Jesus died for us and everything we do matters.
    Sorry…I get carried away…anyway,
    I can’t believe you are not on my friends list (!), so I sent an you an invite. Please check yes.  :o)

  17. Hi Mom,
    It’s nice blog and no wonder you are so loving to people. I think like some people by default are certain things, you are by default a loveable person. Well, I think your brother is lucky at the cost of your mom’s frustration (he he he… grannie must have wondered often whether about him).
    I had three mothers when I grew up, my mom, my grand mother (she is 95 years old and still mothers me when I call India to talk to her) and my youngest aunt (in fact, she’s the one brought me up – she was 16 then). I don’t know, I like people who are like mothers, or give motherly love coz.. I don’t know, I just love them.
    Well, this week end was good, I went to Dubai because one preacher from Africa was coming to my church there and I heard a lot of things about him about his preachings. The trip worth it and I was amazed to find that we both think alike, the only difference is that he acts and I just think and talk. For example, I always liked purpose driven prayers. Like, when someone is about to travel and needs a prayer. Just pray for the safe trip and not for the rest of the world at that time.
    You have no idea what a nightmare when some Indians pray. They almost literraly pray for the whole world and all the existing problems of the world when you ask them to pray for the food before eating. Gosh… I always leave the room and come after 10 minutes when these people come around dining table to pray before eating. I know it’s disrespect, but then, instead of getting frustrated there and having all these negative vibes, it’s better to leave the spot and come back later so that at least you won’t hate the preacher.
    So, I was excited at most of his preachings and bought the recorded audio at the end of the service to listen again. Of course, he was not being critical of anything, it’s just that he was taking away people’s wrong understanding of prayer. Like, when you pray, get right to the point, don’t have to keep dragging and dragging and make people get bored.
    Huh… I think I am writing all my blog here, anyway, since I’ve almost typed most of my blogs, I will post my blog tommorow.
    Then, Thursday night I finally bought new laptop with latest stuffs. I was considering to sell the old (which I had upgraded to run like a rocket) laptop, but then after hearing his preaching, I am planning to give it to our church here in Abu Dhabi coz they don’t have any sort of such things to project songs, and now they use OHP sheets. Someone had gifted the LCD projector, but no PC or laptop there.
    Well, I will be going church tommorow here, but I have one problem on doing good things too. I don’t know, I have this feeling of feeling uncomfortable of someone telling ‘you are so good’ bla bla bla. Well, so I am thinking a lot of ways since yesterday night about avoiding the limelight coz it’s kind of uncomfortable. Well, now I am extremely nervous about people knowing and concluding that I am some sort of angel from heaven. Huh!!!
    Anyway, I am going ahead with this.
    Apart from that, after the church we, the church youth had good time at the restaurant a bit far from church since everyone is extremely hungy and no restaurants were available to have food there until 6 (ramadan fasting end time).
    Now I am back to work.
    Take Care, God Bless you.
    Your Son, Rhonald
    PS: That Constantine was my name when I was kid which I didn’t like (the pronounciation of our native people sucks and so I hated that name) and I changed to Rhonald Moses. Now I kind of like that name and so I use that.

  18. J is very lovely~~ur mother is really brave to some degree~~what a nice family u hold, u should cherish it forever~~god bless,welcome back,dear friend

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