Day 7 – First Visit After Admission

 
We just got back from our 300 mile round trip to visit The Boy for the first time since his admission to rehab.  What hugs we got!!  He looked sooo good.
 
Our biggest fear was that he would beg us to take him home but he did not.  He realizes he needs to be there and wants to stay.  He misses us but already appreciates that we made him go.  Know who he misses most?  Yippers – his niece, Bells!
 
Since addicts are liars it is hard to weed out the truth from the lies he told us in the past.  Because we had to keep things on a note of encouragement whilst on this visit, we were unable to ask alot of questions having to do with the past.  However, he volunteered alot of information I didn’t know.  His substance abuse was much worse than we ever imagined.  He admitted that if there was a cold can of beer in front of him he would put a hole in the bottom of it and guzzle it down right there and then.  That, I believe was honesty.
 
He also apologized to us at least twice for being such a, well, I won’t use his language but you get the idea.  I told him that I forgave him.  He asked, "Really?"  Of course.
 
I am tired but I wanted to write this while it is fresh in my mind.  Once again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for all your encouragement and prayers.
 
btw, my friend’s grandchild is still hanging in there.  Keep on praying, please.
 
love, g 

19 responses to “Day 7 – First Visit After Admission

  1. Hope things get to looking up.
     
     

    Enjoy  your week.
     
    ".+。 *".+。 * :.+。 ".+ (¸,·´   (¸*♥ 。’ㅇ’☆”。*。*.。’☆*。。’ㅇ.☆.。’..*。。..。’ㅇ’。 .。’☆。’ 福福福福福’☆*。.*ㅇ福福福福福 .。’☆。’ . 。’ ‘福福福福福福福福福☆福福福福福福福福福 .。’ ‘ ”。☆福福福福福福福福福福福福福福福福福福福 ”。☆ .。 福福福福福福福福福福福福福福福福福福福福福 .*ㅇ ‘☆ 福福福福福福福福福福福福福福福福福福福福福 .。 .*ㅇ福福福福福福福福福福福福福福福福福福福福福”☆ ”☆福福福福福福福福福福福福福福福福福福福福福.☆. .☆. 福福福福福福福福福福福福福福福福福福福福.*ㅇ ㅇ’.. 福福福福福福福福福福福福福福福福福福福 。”☆ 。”☆”。福福福福福福福福福福福福福福 。’。’☆”。 *。..。’ㅇ’.。福福福福福福福福福福福 *。..☆。’ㅇ’.。 ☆”。*。*.。’ㅇ. 福福福福福福福 ☆”。*..。。*.。’ㅇ ”。*。*.。’☆。’☆*。福福福福 ”。*。*.。’☆。’☆。 .☆.。’. .*。*。. .。’ㅇ’。福 .☆.。’..*。..。*。..。’ㅇ’ 。’ㅇ’☆”。*。*.。’☆*。。’ㅇ.☆.。’..*。*。..。’ㅇ’。
     
    g.j.

  2. Hello G ~
     
    I’m glad you got to see your son, and see that he is improving. Hopefully, it will get better and better.
     
    I hope the visit made you feel better as well.
     
    Here’s hoping your week goes well.
     
    Love, Lori

  3. I know this has been a tough week for you all; I’m so glad that the first visit went well. It is encouraging to hear he his treating this as a positive experience & doesn’t seem to be fighting treatment; I will, as always, continue to be holding you all up in prayer.

  4. hi Gail, so nice of you to update us….but I guess, it’s more of you writin down your thoughts. 7 days have come and gone huh? sooo fast! As for me, I feel the stress of work! arrghh…. it was a busy week coz semester’s just started and there were all these extra meetings, and on top of that, I received some additional piano students, and then there was the extra rehearsals for speech and drama classes  coz of the grand concert yesterday. I feel my back aching like crazy! wish I could have 2 weeks off with nothing to do.
    ok, will quit moaning and complaining here. 🙂
    It sounds like the boy is coping well… and so nice to know he’s being more open. Never mind "weeding out the lies.."…I suppose he’s in a state of in between now huh? YOu’re a great encouragement to your boy G! Keep the lines of communication open between you and him, and ask the Holy SPirit to give you discernment. 🙂
    Praying that as the days go by, The Lord will continue to work in all of you.
    blessings..and peace upon you G.

  5. It sounds like the visit was a big lift for everyone!  And it sounds like he’s on his way to recovery!  That’s good news!
     
    It seems that God’s hand is so in this! 
     
    Love you!!!
    Carol 🙂

  6. Hello my friend, G~
     
    I hope you are well today and adjusting to everything!
     
    Regarding Simon Burkes song, Cry to Me… I don’t think it came out in the 50’s, because he didn’t release his first album or song until 1962. I have been searching, trying to find out what album this is from, and am having trouble doing that even. I am pretty sure it was out in one of his first three albums. That’s why I put the 60’s. :-S
     
    Yep… a stumper! I’m stumped, usually I can find what the information I seek, and I am having problems with this one!
     
    I’m going to Willmar tomorrow through the weekend to visit my parents and some friends. I’ll do a blog entry for posterity sakes… but I WILL SEE YOU WHEN I GET BACK!
     
    Hugs, G~
     
    I like Carol Lu’s comment: It seems that God’s hand is so in this! = VERY VERY NICE.
     
    Relax and let God do his thing.. I hope you aren’t needlessly fretting!
     
    Love, Lor

  7. Hello my friend, G~
     
    I hope you are well today and adjusting to everything!
     
    Regarding Simon Burkes song, Cry to Me… I don’t think it came out in the 50’s, because he didn’t release his first album or song until 1962. I have been searching, trying to find out what album this is from, and am having trouble doing that even. I am pretty sure it was out in one of his first three albums. That’s why I put the 60’s. :-S
     
    Yep… a stumper! I’m stumped, usually I can find what the information I seek, and I am having problems with this one!
     
    I’m going to Willmar tomorrow through the weekend to visit my parents and some friends. I’ll do a blog entry for posterity sakes… but I WILL SEE YOU WHEN I GET BACK!
     
    Hugs, G~
     
    I like Carol Lu’s comment: It seems that God’s hand is so in this! = VERY VERY NICE.
     
    Relax and let God do his thing.. I hope you aren’t needlessly fretting!
     
    Love, Lor

  8. Well, it sounds like good first steps…just continue.. your forgiveness and acceptance of all you find out later will be crucial. He knows he’s wrong. I’m so glad he’s getting this help. And I’m glad you’ve decided to be so open. I know you’re helping someone else cope, as well.
    Prayers continue..
    Jean

  9. That’s so wonderful, you sound much better as well g. I hope the progress continues, I know for sure that your son loves you so much more because of your forgiveness, I suspect he was fearing you would be horribly angry. Much love and hugs….  take care…. -Sunflower-

  10. it is great to hear that he is doing so good…sometimes we as humans just realise thatw e need help…
    *~* :o) smiles are contagious… :o) so pass one on … :o) soon the whole world will be smiling… :o) *~*

  11. I’m wondering if you really need to know all the details of The Boy’s past transgressions?  When we (Kay and I) began to get revelations about things our kids had done in the past (and some things being done in the present), each new discovery was ripping my wife heart apart (mine, too).  She was being damaged in her emotions and she suffered intense inner pain, conflict and turmoil.  As this process continued day after day, leading to week after week, she was being destroyed by overwhelming emotional pain.  The sins of our children were wrecking her life.
    We have very open communication in our marriage relationship; thus, when I would discover some new thing, I would pass the new information on to her; only to watch it produce havoc in her heart.  I struggled for a long time with this issue – the need for my wife to know information and the converse need for her heart to be guarded from more damage. 
    I meditated on the meaning of the scripture which tells us “…love covereth all sins” (Proverbs 10:12) and also from James 5:19-20 “Brethren, if any of you do err from the truth, and one convert him; 20Let him know, that he which converteth the sinner from the error of his way shall save a soul from death, and shall hide a multitude of sins.”  My thoughts on these two verses are that Our Redeemer, Jesus, expects a full confession of our sins to him.  He looks for true repentance, with the evidence of confession, and when He sees this, He, out of His great love for us, chooses to “cover” and “hide” our transgressions.  He doesn’t put us on public display, He only gives the information about our past to those who have a need to know.  Love understands all things and knowing the frailty of our heart, our Lord chooses to cover our sins so completely that the scripture says He “forgets” them.
    The scripture also tells me the love my wife as Christ loved the Church.  Thus, in a sense, I too am a Redeemer for her and for my children as well.  A Redeemer must be willing to pay the price of redemption, to assume the cost for delivering the one in bondage; bondage of fear, emotional pain, discouragement, disillusionment, a broken heart.  A Redeemer pays the price to set others free and continues to pay to keep them free.
    As a Redeemer, I must reach the hearts of my kids and win them.  They must know that I understand them, accept them and care for them.  When they believe I am “for them”, then they become willing to open their hearts to me about their past failures.  And they are watching closely to see if their failures are going to change my love toward them.  When they see continuing compassion for them, they are encouraged to open their hearts a little more and with that trusting, they began to ask for advice and counsel.  On the flip side, my role as a Redeemer for my wife is one of protecting her heart.  There are things which our kids have done, which would damage her, even devastate her.  This is not because the kids are terrible or evil, they aren’t, but it is because my wife is a very pure person.  She is strongly affected by sin.  So there are things which the kids tell me, which I do not tell her.  I’m not “hiding” the things from her with the intent to deceive her; that would be wrong.  I’ll just ask her to trust me to protect her heart.  I protect her from destructive details and information and she accepts this protection.  I will often give her the gist of a matter, a direction for prayer, but she is learning to understand that when I tell her “You really don’t want/need to know about this” then it is for her protection; that I’m guarding her heart and “covering” our kids. 

  12. Hey Gail,
     
    I haven’t had time to read all your entries yet on your son’s recovery but I wanted you to know that I did read a bit before I took off for a week and I have been praying for your son while I was on my youth retreat.  I’ll be back when I have more time.  You guys are in my thoughts..
     
    Susan
    http://www.letmylifesongsing.wordpress.com 

  13. Hi Gail,   my prayers and thoughts continue to be with you during this difficult time. 
     
    Hey guess what?  I got the position!  I’m excited beyond words! 

  14. Hi there!
    Passing through blogs and yours stopped me short… I am celebrating 3 years of sobriety in AA myself today… I will keep your son in my prayers and your family as well.  It will be a long road but so worth it!  May God bless you and your family!

  15. Hy heart and prayers go out to you, thank God you son realizes you are helping, not hurting him. Please also be aware that usually there will be at least one set back before the road to wellness is traveled very far. 
    How is your girl?
    You need to give yourself a break from this guilt trip…you didn’t cause this and you’re handling it the right way. God’s not going to let you down!
     
    xoxo
    Dana

  16. I’m sorry to hear about the baby. How tragic.  I cannot even imagine losing Emma.  It’s good to hear that the boy is apparently doing well though.   I know when my mom went through rehab, I was very distrustful of her and cautious because I didn’t believe her.  But it seems that some people seem to really get it when they get it, ya know?  Time will tell.  It is definately a difficult time you are going through now.  I understand all the feelings, I really do.  The only difference is I watched my mom drinking herself silly for 10 years first.
     
    Hang in there, remember Who is in control!!!
     
    Love ya,
    Ronna 

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