Just Don’t Know

Just don’t know what to make of what has been going on around here.  Wisdom and discernment are needed and I am waiting upon the Lord to guide me.
As I am sure I have mentioned in the past, being a parent lasts a lifetime.  Doesn’t matter what your child’s age is you still are happy when they are happy and sad when they are sad.
I’ve been blessed to quite often be able to learn from other people’s mistakes.  Don’t get me wrong; I have made some of the stupidest mistakes in the past.  What I am saying is that, had people not kept their counsel before I jumped in I might not have taken the plunges that brought me such pain.  Telling me afterwards did no good. 
Now I find myself weighing my words with my children; especially my daughter.  I do speak up but it falls on deaf ears – or so I think.  So much unnecessary pain.  It hurts me. 
Having a grandchild changes how you act toward your grown child, too.  Her welfare needs to come first and, if I don’t think it is, I want to jump right in.  Tact is much more difficult.
Ugh.  I am so happy I have prayer to help me through.  I don’t think I’d be alive without my faith.  I’m not all that strong without God’s hand holding me up.
Have you ever felt like giving up and running away?  Oh, yes.  I am blessed that I have a couple of places to go overnight if I feel I am going to burst.
If you have a child or children and you knew then what you know now would you have still had them?  I love my children so much.  That being said, there is only one way to get grandchildren…
Do you realize that those “perfect” families you see all around you aren’t?  Perfect, that is.  Took me a while but yes, I realize it.  I have found that, after getting to know them, I am happy to come home to what I live with.
Are you sick of holiday sweets yet?  Just when I think I am I get a yen…
In saying the new year, are you saying “twenty-ten” or ‘two thousand ten?”  I want to say the latter but am afraid of being lazy and saying the former.  I have a keen sense of being appropriate.  heavy sigh
Be well, gail

5 responses to “Just Don’t Know

  1. After my husband left the family, my children would notice other in tact families in church in be jealous. I had to pull them aside and tell them that we were very often pointed to as that perfect family, proving no one really knows. I do joke that I wish the birth control pill was retroactive. My children have walked away without a second look. I think they know I am alive through my blog. With my children went my grandchildren. I still have not finished reading the book The Velveteen Rabbit to my first grandchild, Sarah and there is nothing I can do about that.. I am tired of shedding tears over the situation and am focusing on the patients I left behind at Embassy House. My life has to go on.

  2. Duckie,I for one knew then what I know now, I would have done things a little different. I have three great sons, one has chosen to go his own way. I told him that I respect him for that, however, I will always be your dad. Each son gave me two grandchildren each, for boys two girls. I know your feelings very much. Yes there have been many times that I thought about going away. There were times that I did just that, my motto was, "Have clothes will travel" Then I met Frances and that was the end of that.Just keep God on your side and he will take care of you.Stay warm and stay safe. I just might show up in Beantown sometime

  3. I am sorry to hear you are having problems with your daughter in particular.Parenting is not easy and no matter how wise we get as we go through life I do not think it is ever enough.I am now a parent and I try not to do the mistakes of my parents but I catch myself doing them….What I have seen is that all parents are humans and make mistakes, it applies to grandparents too in certain cases.I am sure your daughter does not mean to hurt you, but then with all the respect I owe you Gail, let her do the job now. As her parent you need absolutely to advice her and yes you need to use tact as difficult as it can be cause you are the wisest of the two.Young parents will never be wise if they do not make their own mistakes. It might seem selfish, but it is the way all parents as to go through….Have you ever felt like giving up and running away? Oh my kid is six and pulling out my hair counts right? If you have a child or children and you knew then what you know now would you have still had them? My child did not came expected or planified, but he saved me in various ways no one can imagine. I know the road is long and tough and I know their are many disputes and fights ahead, but yes I would do it again. Do you realize that those "perfect" families you see all around you aren’t? Perfect, that is. I do not want to brag but yes i always knew. Familial perfection is most probably utopia. The reason is simple. Parents and children are individuals with their own personalities. Putting these living under a roof is like making an oil/water cocktail. And as far as I am concerned a apple that falls further away from the shadow of the parent tree will grow stronger than an apple fallen in the shadow of the parent tree. Are you sick of holiday sweets yet? I try not to open my fridge…. nest year choc will be on my blacklist….. those this can whisper and tempt you to eat them! In saying the new year, are you saying "twenty-ten" or ‘two thousand ten?" In English I’s rather say Twewnty Ten but in french it literally goes Two thousand and ten…. Well I hope you fell better and do not forget that communication is the only thing that can save a family…. as hard as it may be to keep it going.Hugs,Isa

  4. Felt like giving up & running away? Many times but very grateful I did not, would have missed many blessingsIf you have a child or children and you knew then what you know now would you have still had them? It would have helped to know then what I know now but then it would have changed everything so where would I be now? Now that is a crazier thought, hey?Do you realize that those "perfect" families you see all around you aren’t? I always wanted to be one of those…Are you sick of holiday sweets yet? most of themIn saying the new year, are you saying "twenty-ten" or ‘two thousand ten? "two thousand ten" old habits die hard.My oldest son is married with grandchild and I can totally relate to your post. All I can do is pray and be ready for an answer when he does ask for my advice…those times have been a blessing to me. the same for my daughter. I use scripture alot and they know that so they know that it isn’t always coming from me but the Lord….I pray God gives you blessings and peace in your relationship with your daughter…it is sometimes bittersweet but God promises to work all things together for good to them who love Him…Grace to youShell

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